Oh, Death!

When I was a little girl, if I thought about it for too long, I
would inevitably start to cry; now that I am older, not much has
changed. The idea of death leaves me with a feeling of dire
hopelessness and ill ease. I admire, and am a bit envious of, people
who believe in something beyond death. Perhaps this is because I
have never found a philosophy of the afterlife that rings true with my
own sensibilities. To me, death has always meant facing
nothingness, simply ceasing to exist. Nothingness is probably not
exactly the right word, because I do believe in the notion of
reincarnation: insofar as my body will decay and become a different
part of the earth’s ecosystem. But, where will my innate self go, and
what of my family and friends ? I am well aware that it is silly to
worry, death is unavoidable, and if my ability for consciousness and
thought are gone, then I will be ignorant to the fact that I no
longer exist. But while I am alive, I cannot help but be afraid.

Wynn Meyers
Submitted 5.15.09